Can I first of all apologise for the shoddiest title of a blog post ever, you may have noticed by now I’m not very good at those. The best headline I ever came up with for a piece in the local paper was for a Christmas tree recycling scheme and was thus: ‘Reuse, your spruce, recycle’ which was objectively fantastic but was changed to ‘Branching Out’ which doesn’t make any bloody sense. Mind you I wanted to bend the rules and have ‘Oh Compost all Ye Faithful’, no compost was involved in the scheme, and that’s the reckless guerilla style journalism that ends up in phone hacking and paedos getting off free so that’s why I steered well clear and let that be a lesson to you all.
A shit person who’s been getting on my pip for too long now is Katie Hopkins, seen here looking like me on every Christmas day between 1992 -2005
The Big Benefits Row aired on Channel 5 – which I forgot was a channel until recently when I caught the end of The Wright Stuff in which a caller phoned in to say not having a maths GCSE would make people ‘feel like a right prick’ but unfortunately it was one of those moments no one else saw or uploaded to YouTube, like that time someone in the audience on Deal or No Deal shouted ‘jeepers!’ when the big two fiddy was revealed AND I WAS THE ONLY PERSON IN THE WORLD WHO HEARD AND SUBSEQUENTLY ROFLD’.
So yes The Big Benefits Row aired on Channel 5 and was really interesting and full of shouting, in fact I think it must have had the loudest shout ever recorded on live TV which is what you can expect when you’re a judgemental cantankerous old cow and you accuse a mother of not doing all she can to provide for her family.
Katie Hopkins and Edwina Currie’s accusatory attitude from the outset really beggared my belief. I don’t understand a lot about politicians (and I know Katie isn’t one) but I really don’t understand how they fail time and time again to treat human beings as individuals. Katie and Edwina clearly have this ideal of success in life that everyone must be played up against for their approval. As we’ve seen before if you’re born with an unsatisfactory first name that’s enough for Katie to write you off.
I know that realistically a lot of the people that featured on Benefits Street and programmes like it ARE drug addicts, out of work, alcoholics who watch a lot of telly. But you can’t blame them any more for the set of circumstances they were born into any more than you can blame me for not speaking French. Yes you can try to get a job and get what’s deemed as a good education, but clearly that only gets you so far and clearly that’s failing a lot of people.
I’ve never been back in time, but there must have been social outcasts who slipped through the cracks in the black and white times, and their human rights were probably considerably compromised because of it. I’m glad that just because you might have been a bit of a cheeky layabout at school, these days it isn’t a death sentence.
At one point Katie condemned Dee for swearing around her children which was totally below the belt. It’s as if Katie doesn’t realise that all the best posh people swear unrelentingly and their kids turn out to be the most hilarious care free toffs at the party. Even my own mother brandished an unsatisfactorily washed knife from the dishwasher at me the other night shouting ‘LOOK AT THIS FUCKER’ and I don’t plan on wrecking society at any point henceforth because of it.This perfect state of morality Katie and Edwina want Britain to adhere to- Cambridge satchels, organic hummus and no swears, I suppose we all grow up and get there in the end in our own way, I don’t even know what ‘there’ is but I know I haven’t reached it yet, maybe Edwina and Katie think they have. (They haven’t they’re shit)
Watching the Big Benefits Row it became obvious that I’d much rather go for a drink with White Dee whose compassion on Benefits Street really was moving. She was also composed, considered and funny. She also looks like she has lovely hard working children as was seen on the programme, there are more ways of measuring wealth and success than Katie would like to think.
Edwina and Katie might have respectable jobs and stiff matronly haircuts; skin clear of tattoos, no facial piercings and received pronunciation but that carefully constructed mask of civility severely slipped on Saturday night and they both instead resembled baying snobby hounds.
At several points Matthew Wright had to remind the panel and audience not to get too personal, that we were having a mature debate, that you’d be just as bad as Katie if you pointed out her many many flaws in judgement and character.
Programmes like this debate even being commissioned seem to show that the public are realising they’ve been subject to a witch hunt. The amount lost by the government on tax avoidance dwarfs that of benefit fraud, but the tabloid press still jump on otherwise unremarkable stories about people stealing packs of quavers or in other cases putting horrible spins on stories about disturbed murderers.
On the flip side however there’s also an unmistakable witch hunt out for Katie Hopkins, it was said about her by another panellist “you would be really dangerous if you knew what you were talking about” which was met with whoops of applause by the audience. This seems to be an acceptance then that Katie is charismatic, she does have the ability to draw people in, which is in fact a scary combination when paired with total apathy for the human race.
“Oh but she says what we’re all thinking we’re just too afraid to say it!” have a little faith in your brain, sometimes I think about what it would be like to cook and eat a cat but I don’t tell anyone that because I know I’d never get a boyfriend. Seeing misconstrued statistics every now and then does make my inner monologue go “I sit in front of a computer all day to earn my Darwin$ and these clowns think they can sit in front of a telly all day and just get given it for nothing?” but thankfully my brain knows to do a bit of thinking and calms my mouth down before I go out into the world spouting twat chat.
So I do think it’s fair to rally up the troops to slate Katie on the internet because she’s a dangerous awful person, but that’s the sort of tactics that didn’t work at school and won’t work now, the best way to silence an idiot is to ignore them.
Next week I’ll be talking about cinnamon, friend or foe?