I have watched a lot of TV lately as the ROLLING CRESCENDO OF CACOPHONOUS BULLSHIT that is my life continues to force me to heavily strain and decant the very few joys I am drip fed- first through the anaesthetic muslin of the televisual screen, doused in alcohol, before it hits my weary eyes. Basically all I do is watch TV, sometimes begrudgingly, but often with hungry enthusiasm and here I will return to form as your trusty guide for TV to watch during the common misfortunes we find ourselves in:
When you get really frustrated about having to be a 21 year old non male with a questionable fringe and no one to tuck you in at night, it’s nice to watch all the episodes of “Girls” that you can. It has had my internal monologue increasingly dorky and monotonous but it has really helped me – with something I’m not quite sure what.
Americans are actually a lot lamer than us despite having more money and space and disney and shit, which means some of the scenes I actually found a bit vanilla, but then they sure do make up for it with all the nudity don’t they huh!? I’m only one series in so I’m sure I will grow to love it unconditionally because I’m a pretty predictable 21st century feminist leftie.
When you’re having one of those moments where you’re scared of turning into a woman who’s going to get raped and murdered, Happy Valley is surprisingly reassuring. The finale is next week so I would urge everyone to watch the past 5 eps on BBC iplayer now. Sarah Lancashire is a brilliant brave badass of a woman who I couldn’t want to be MORE if it wasn’t for the fact that I’m not making my way up through the force starting with wearing uniform NO WAY.
(I just Googled her and found out she was entered into Rear of The Year which is the cheapest funniest looking beauty contest.)
But here she is in Happy Valley
(I’ve reasoned putting more pictures in might keep people’s attention)
Happy Valley is in fact very gory. Anything set in the north wins immediate points for me because you know the characters are going to have a well developed back story and a good sense of humour. All detectives in the South are a Midsomer’s joke or a fake cockney, as far as I can remember.
Sarah Lancashire plays Catherine Cawood who is forced to re encounter the man who raped her daughter 8 years ago and subsequently killed herself. That storyline would be enough, but Cawood also looks after her 8 year old Grandson who was born as a result of, what we still assume to have been, the rape. It’s many faceted but ultimately you find yourself rooting for Catherine’s end cause, it becomes less about the victim of the kidnapping, although that is horrifying, and more about a need for Catherine to get her revenge.
That wasn’t just an image to break up the tut of my words, this is the aforementioned rapist and serial murderer Tommy Lee Royce – so fit right. Which leads me onto my next point.
When you want to watch a depraved and psychotic but massively fit murderer at play, and everyone does on a Saturday night, re-watch series 1 of The Fall in anticipation for the new series coming up. Jamie Dornan is gripping *as in grip my waist amiright gals?* as a totally out of order weirdo, playing alongside Gillian Anderson as the female badass detective (from now on to be known as FBD, because I use this in every blog post).
I am going to have to do some digging around here but I have a theory that with the rise of FBDs we’re now going to start to see more fit sexy male killers. I’m pretty sure in the past they’ve all been nondescript or tramp looking  but all of a sudden they are just pure eye candy. I like it because I think it shows the presence of female protagonists and female writers (not in the case of The Fall, but in Happy Valley, written by Sally Wainwright) can see physical attractiveness as a much more interesting useful trait than when a woman is a good looking killer.
If a female villain is attractive it’s a case of ‘oh she’s a vamp rather than an angel- well you can’t judge a book by its cover lol!’ But attractive men don’t actually appear in detective drama that often, the cops are usually troubled and balding and the villains are full blown paedos. This new sexiness makes the character even more sinister in my view, maybe that’s just because we’re unused to seeing chiseled cheekbones, or maybe we find it harder to believe a good looking guy would want to stoop to rape and murder. I think it’s interesting because really no one rapes someone because they can’t get any, people rape people because they are criminals – attractive or otherwise, and it’s about power, and that’s what The Fall displays so perfectly.
Other things I have watched:
The Killing – I watched the entire two series of the American version by mistake and now I’m annoyed at myself, should’ve gone for the Danish.
Fargo – watched the first few episodes and loved this but I did have a horrible feeling I was being thick and missing out on a big chunk of plot or something, will return to it after I’ve given my room a good tidy.
Vera – Vera’s gone down the pan hole God bless Brenda Blethyn, It’s an hour too long and I’ve just realised she has a fit detective sidekick but he’s actually a bit bland to be actually attractive, just a pretty face. Maybe I have a complex.
Corrie – Corrie is my touch stone.. irritated at the way Tina was pushed off the show so she could marry Mark Wright, should have been Carla who got to do the honours, most looking forward to how Anna’s internal slut shaming goes down, I think she should just tell her husband and stop crying about it.